Why Dating is Disappearing in South Korea
Along with marriage and kids
안녕, it’s Ari, your talkative Korean friend and weekend reminder. 🎉 Today’s newsletter covers a refreshing noodle recipe and why Korean women don’t feel safe to date men these days. No lesson today but I prepared a lengthy article instead. Let’s dive in!
Kimchi Fish Cake Noodles
Are you looking for a healthy and easy-to-make kimchi noodle recipe? I’ve got you covered! Today’s dish is kimchi fish cake noodles that kimchi lovers can’t possibly resist. Watch the cooking video (Korean) with the following English recipe, and try it for yourself this weekend.
Serves 3-4
Make the Broth: Combine 6 cups of water, 2/3 cup of anchovy broth, and a dash of pepper in a pot. Bring to a boil to make the broth.
Cook the Eggs: Beat 2 eggs and cook them in a thin layer in a pan. Slice the cooked eggs into thin strips.
Prepare the Stir-fry: In a pan, heat some oil. Add 5 sheets of fish cake (sliced), 1 onion (sliced), a handful of kimchi, 2 green chili peppers (sliced), 2 tablespoons of sugar, 1 tablespoon of red pepper flakes, 4 tablespoons of soy sauce, and 1 tablespoon of minced garlic. Stir-fry for about 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and mix in 2 tablespoons of sesame oil.
Assemble the Dish: In a bowl, add the broth, cooked noodles (rinsed and drained), stir-fried mixture, and egg strips. Serve and bon appétit! 😋
Why Dating is Disappearing in South Korea
Recently, a troubling event highlighted the ongoing issues within South Korean society that contribute to the growing disinterest in dating, marrying, and starting families. This phenomenon is becoming increasingly prevalent, with many women choosing to avoid relationships altogether.
A dedicated teacher, Ji Haebok, who has taught social studies at a middle school for over 30 years, found herself protesting alone in front of the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education. She has been standing there for four months, demanding the revocation of a transfer order that was issued after she tried to protect her female students from sexual harassment.
It all started when some female students confided in her about the sexual harassment and assault they were facing from male students. Despite reporting their concerns to their homeroom teachers and the school’s student guidance department, their issues were not resolved. Ji conducted an urgent survey, revealing that three-quarters of the female students had experienced some form of harassment.
As a teacher, Ji felt deeply sorry for not being aware of these issues earlier and for not being able to protect her students. When the school began investigating, the identities of the victims were inadvertently exposed, leading to further harassment. The situation escalated as posts targeting these female students appeared on Instagram, and groups of male students began mocking them.
Despite the severity of the situation, the school failed to separate the perpetrators from the victims or properly inform the parents. Realizing that the school was not taking adequate action, Ji escalated the issue to the district and city education offices. Although the male students involved were eventually made to issue written apologies, Ji was abruptly ordered to transfer schools. She believes the school wanted her to leave because her continuous advocacy for the victims was seen as burdensome.
While Ji protests this retaliatory decision, the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education maintains that her transfer was unrelated to the harassment case and was based on standard procedures. However, parents of the students find the transfer decision unacceptable, feeling that the school is merely covering up the issue rather than addressing it properly.
This incident is not an isolated case but rather indicative of a broader societal issue in South Korea. There is widespread sexual abuse against women, most notably molka, and a pervasive lack of adequate protection and support for victims of sexual abuse, even when they are vulnerable children. This societal failure is a significant factor in why many Korean women are increasingly wary of relationships and marriage.
Adding to this concern, a recent incident involving a Korean man in Singapore further highlights the issue. The 51-year-old man was sentenced to 8 years and 4 and a half months in prison for attempting to rape a 20-something Swedish woman at a serviced apartment. This sentence starkly contrasts with the leniency often shown to sex criminals in South Korea, where such perpetrators frequently face minimal consequences. Attempting to rape often gets probation in South Korea, so many Koreans were shocked to hear his sentence.
Furthermore, recent statistics reveal a chilling reality: a significant number of Korean women are killed by their lovers, predominantly Korean men. According to recent data, approximately one woman is killed every 2.7 days by a man she knows, often a current or former intimate partner. Last year alone, at least 138 women lost their lives due to dating violence, and when including attempted murders, the number of victims rises to 449. Additionally, 13,939 individuals were arrested for dating violence in the same year, which is a 55.7% increase compared to 8,951 in 2020. This alarming rate of domestic violence and femicide highlights the extreme dangers women face in their personal relationships, contributing to their growing reluctance to date, form relationships, or marry.
Dating violence is not just something you occasionally hear about in the news; it is a serious threat the women face in their daily lives. I know three people who have suffered from dating or domestic violence. I also know a person who got arrested for spycamming women. 😇 Many instances of dating violence occur during or after a breakup, so Korean women share tips online on how to break up safely, fearing assault or even being killed after the breakup. The tips include “break up in a crowded area” and “don’t wash and be smelly (to get dumped).”
South Korea is currently suffering from the lowest fertility rate in the world, a trend that can largely be attributed to Korean women's growing disinterest or fear in dating, marrying, and starting families with Korean men. The combination of societal indifference to sexual abuse, lenient punishments for sex criminals, and high rates of domestic violence paints a grim picture for women. This societal backdrop has led many Korean women to effectively "strike" against traditional relationships, prioritizing their safety and well-being over conventional family structures.
For meaningful change to occur, Korean society must confront these issues head-on, ensuring justice for victims and creating a safer environment for all women. Only then can the country hope to address its declining fertility rate and build a more equitable and safe society for future generations.
Thanks for reading, comments, and likes! ❤️ I took an unexpected break last week due to a health issue. I had a stomachache 🫠. The lack of muscle seems to be causing many symptoms in my body, so I recently bought a resistance band to start weight training at home. I had a test and my muscle mass was seriously low 😇. Wish me luck in gaining muscle 💪 and getting healthy. I wish you good health as well.
Don’t forget to ☕️ buy me a coffee ☕️ to support my work. It’ll help me keep writing! I will be back next week. 안녕!
Good Evening Queensland Time, Australia, Ari.
Did miss not getting your send last week, and hope you are OK now.
Like the recipe idea very much, but do struggle with not burning omelettes.
Your longer send is a bit more important and meaningful. And sad and worrying.
For various reasons , this subject is some thing I know a lot about. To do with my job , but also my ethical/philosophical and family upbringing.
Your story of the brave school teacher is amazingly awe inspiring. And of her students.
It is difficult to know if things are better or worse, when we look at big numbers.
Your South Korean birth rate was 6.0 in 1960 and is now 0.81 in 2020. Ours was about 3.0 then and is now 1.6. Many of my family are outliers in stats , with very very large families; like 7 -8 kids and 18 grandchildren and more grandchildren. And we are not a cult and similar with friends families.
Our domestic violence stats are nothing to be proud of, at all here.
However, they have improved, at least in the area of deaths, from 0.66 /100,000 to 0.18/100,000 in last 40 years.
But the core roots of misogyny and male dominance in relationships remains in most places.
Not all Men are Bad though, just hard to tell perhaps.
Stay Cool. Cristoffa.
I'm worried for my Korean friends, we live in a scary world. Stay safe. Spreading the word can only help. Thank you for sharing so many references and articles, I learnt a lot.